it's been so long since my last post
like almost an entire life... at least it feels like
and yet here, everything remains the same
i like that
i'm sure no one reads this. but i do and the fact that i have a tiny window to escape
to write it down and let it out of me
that is all that matters
i guess the road home is always the same
this is kind of my home
and i feel like coming back :)
this makes me wanderlust so bad... i know summer is over, but i am gonna keep pretending it's not. billabong campaing styled by mandy from oraclefox photos by nirrimi firebrace
it's been a year since i dyed my hair ombre style and now i want a change, i was thinking that maybe this would look cute. my hair is dark so i'm guessing that a dark purple is gonna look much better than pink or light lilac. i am excited and can't stop thinking about the result!
images via pinterest
I haven't been paying attention to my blog lately, but the truth is that when I said bring it on I meant it, and as it turns out I am very very busy now following my dream. So far I have accomplish all the goals I had on my mind and I am the happiest person on earth, but I kinda feel like my blog is turning into a boring forgotten place that I never visit anymore, I even got a delicious account so I have a stack of my links there and I don't need to come here to visit my favorite ones anymore. There is so much stuff going on my head right now but I need more time to sort it all out... but! I thought that tonight on a slow friday night with nothing to do I might as well blog about what I would like to be doing right now if I wasn't so freaking tired (and forever alone haha for I have nobody to go out with)
I am really obsessing with music now, it has been my outlet at work, I play and immediately disconnect from my reality. And if something is important to me is to feel sexy at all times, not always pulled together now that I have so much on my plate, but boy does music help to feel myself a little sexier and to keep the self esteem high even if it means to sing as loud as I can in my car.
So I wanna talk about the three women that turn my daily routines into a mother fucking sexy add just like out of a Maxim magazine (at least on my head:)
1. The conventional
Of course Rihanna is sexy, whoever says she's not they must be blind, she is so beautiful. I saw her live in Madrid and I tell you that girl exudes sexyness and has a rocking body to my envy that makes me wanna hit the gym 24/7 just to see if I can look like her. Anywho her latest album is constantly played on my ipod and I get so high of singing her songs its ridiculous, I must look like a complete retard while doing this but I really don't care singing Rihanna in my car or in my room while getting ready makes me feel like I can take any guy I want.
2. The experimental
Oh my dearest Lykke Li. If I was a song, I'd be a Lykke Li song, she is one of my favorite singers and everything she does I adore, it's like love at first sight to me. And I know she is not everybody's type of sexy but c'mon! this girl has it all, she is extremely beautiful, she is swedish, she is strange and she is adorable while dancing (have you seen her video "Sadness is a Blessing" pure magic!) I think her allure and beauty comes from a very intelligent yet dark way of making you think out side the box. Not all you watch on t.v. is the rule about what is attractive or not... and plus she is my prostitute and I'm gonna get some? can it get any hotter than that? I don't think so.
3. The spiritual
The first time I listened to her new album I was seated on my desk at my office, I listened to the first song and I was blown away... she took me back to my first memories of pain, when I lost my innocence and when an artist can make you feel the way you once felt way back then when you were a child... I mean really? Is that even possible? All I can say is that she is a genius, her voice is perfect and her lyrics even better. I know this is not the typical sexy, she's not dancing in her videos with sexy clothes but I find her songs so revealing, so personal and how that cannot be sexy? it just is.
I guess that with her is the way she makes me feel while singing her songs, like my body is going to explode, the things I dare not to express, she brings them out of me naturally...
I guess I still have time to dance a little more before going to bed now, I have a tough day tomorrow but there is always time for a sexy dance :)
I have no idea what I am gonna be for Halloween. It is one of my favorite holidays just because I love to dress up and play pretend I am someone else, it is easy for me to disguise and be somebody else, I guess because there're are so many faces of me that it is not difficult to change the way I look.
These are the options in my head, tomorrow I am going on a costume hunt with my friend, finger cross I find something that fits both my idea and my wallet! :( haha, oh it isn't that hard just give me some bunny ears and a skimpy dress and I am set! I always remember the Mean Girls line about how Halloween is the only time of the year a girl can dress like a total skank and not be called a whore for it... I do believe that is right, I love wearing things like that so Halloween is the perfect excuse right?
I started this blog because I wanted to let out all the random thoughts inside my head, it has helped me a lot to organize my mind and make clear the things that happen in my life. I had been wanting for a while to do a little inspirational post about the things I want in life. Like the sort of life style I am aiming for... it has certainly not been like I wish, but fear not dear Dorothy because soon I will find the way on the Yellobrick Road and I will get there.
This images of things that I like are what reminds me that there are things left to learn and to create. I like to keep myself inspired, I am aware of my need to be surrounded of beautiful things, right now they are a little bit imaginary but I am sure it is not gonna be forever like this... because if you know where you wanna go, you will do everything to get there. I love this phrase of Regina Spektor "I am the hero of the story I don't need to be saved" I just have to keep reminding me that with her sweet voice.
I guess I also have to remind me that if there's no pain there's no game... sacrifice comes in order to enjoy the fine things of life... but I am willing to pay the price, so bring it on! :)
All photos from my Pinterest & WHI
I can't say I am a new person, I am still good ol' me, but I do feel a little like Nina Sayers only not dead but happily alive. And it is also not the end but the beginning, the beginning of me as it always should have been.
Also yesterday I received an indian friendship bracelet from my very good good friend Ryan, he sent it inside a letter from INDIA!... all of this in a short amount of hours... I can't really express how happy I am. I am truly smiling with my heart now, nothing really matters now because what makes me happy what makes the world spin around comes from within me, I am finally at peace.
This picture is my favorite painting: Picasso's The girl before the mirror I got the chance to admire it at the MoMA in NYC last october, it has always meant a lot to me but now it means the world... the way I feel sums up in the masterpiece of an amazing painter from another time. How cool is that? to see your feelings turn into figures in a beautiful painting?
I am certain now I will be all I can be, nothing is gonna stop me now because the only person in between my dreams and happiness is now dead for me...
When I am having a very bad day I think of you, of you and me and Paris and everything feels better because I am certain that if I die tomorrow I would die in peace knowing I was truly happy once...
